The Seafront Tearoom Page 17

  “And you clearly had more important things to do than call and speak with Leo.”

  “I was at a friend’s for dinner, that’s all.”

  “Anyone I know?”

  There was a sharpness in his tone that made her anxious, as if whatever she said next wouldn’t be the right answer. The contentment she’d felt over dinner at Adam and Zoe’s house had all but gone.

  “No one you know. Why?”

  “Just seems strange that you’d forget to call.”

  “I didn’t forget. My battery was out—I told you.”

  Jake said nothing. Even over the phone, she could sense the hostility from him.

  “Jake, what are you trying to say?”

  “Nothing . . . Look, I don’t get what’s going on here. Were you out with a guy?”

  “No,” she said bluntly.

  “OK,” he said.

  “Would it be any of your business if I was?”

  “It is my business, because it could affect Leo.”

  “Well, I wasn’t—so this is irrelevant.”

  “You wouldn’t usually miss a call to Leo. You’re different these days.”

  “Jake, don’t guilt-trip me. So I’m not perfect, who is? I don’t want to play this game, but if I have to . . . You went weeks without seeing Leo—”

  “We’re back to that, are we?”

  His voice was harsh. She recalled how he had been in the days after Leo’s birth—an edge to him that left her feeling she was walking on eggshells. She’d done her best to please him, but had never seemed to be able to. She was in no hurry to let history repeat itself.

  “Jake, you’re snapping at me.”

  “So I can’t ask you anything anymore?”

  “Look, is everything all right?”

  “Fine, Kat. Never been better.”

  “OK,” she said. But a feeling of unease had settled in the pit of her stomach. Something wasn’t right here. “Is there something you want to talk to me about?”

  “There is, yes,” Jake said.

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s Leo. I’ve been talking to him, and my parents have too. He doesn’t seem happy.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I mean, he’s fine here—that’s not the problem. He says he wants to spend more time with me.”

  “I see.” Kat drew in her breath. She couldn’t take it personally. Perhaps there were things they could do to make the situation easier for Leo.

  “Well, we can arrange that. You having him regularly at weekends—we always said that was the plan in the long term.”

  “Yeah . . . but I think he needs more stability, Kat. That kind of arrangement would only unsettle him.”

  “So what are you suggesting?”

  “That he lives with me, full-time.”

  “Sorry?” Kat choked. Her mind raced. She must have heard him wrong. “Are you saying you want custody?”

  “Yes.”

  Her jaw fell open. “Where on earth has this come from? You can’t just do that.”

  “I can. And I will. I’ll do whatever is best for Leo.”

  Jake hung up, and Kat, stunned, let the phone fall from her hand. This couldn’t be happening. Leo was everything to her. A life without him—it didn’t bear thinking about.

  28

  Friday, September 26

  Charlie scraped the last bit of Weetabix off the tiled kitchen floor, and felt a hand in her hair. Gracie’s fingers, sticky with her brother’s cereal, were wedged into her freshly washed hair. She fought to keep her patience. It wasn’t even seven o’clock yet and she already felt worn thin.

  “Oh dear, I’m sorry,” Pippa said, when she saw what had happened. “That’s a first.” She lifted Gracie out of harm’s way.

  Charlie got to her feet and picked the bits of cereal out of her fringe. That morning, Flo had woken her at 4 A.M. after having a nightmare, and insisted she needed to talk it through in minute detail.

  “You look as if you need a break,” Pippa said.

  “It’s fine, honestly.”

  “Go on, I’m serious. Go out for a bit. God knows you’ve helped me enough. I don’t want you going home exhausted. We’ll be OK.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Absolutely. Go on—get out while you can.” Pippa grinned.

  “All right. Thanks.”

  As Charlie walked upstairs, she thought about the night before last. She and Euan had had such a good time, right up until the moment she pushed him away. The more she’d talked to him, the more she found herself attracted to him—if she could only get past feeling so damn scared about the whole thing, maybe she could make things right.

  She thought of her conversation with Kat. Spending time with Euan was supposed to be a bit of fun, nothing to get stressed out about. She wasn’t going to be here long enough to get hurt again. Steeling herself, Charlie got out her phone and sent him a text.

  Morning. Fancy a run?

  Then, as an afterthought:

  Provided Bagel has a new lead.

  Her phone buzzed with a message.

  Sure. Give me half an hour. Meet you by the scene of B’s crime.

  Charlie jogged up to the stretch of pavement where Euan was standing with his dog.

  “Morning,” she called out brightly.

  “Hello, Charlie.” He smiled.

  She jogged on the spot alongside him for a moment. “Race you to the lighthouse,” she said, then set off before Euan could reply.

  “Hey—you didn’t give me a chance,” he protested, running to keep up. Bagel let out a bark of excitement and raced along beside them.

  She could hear Euan’s footsteps, rapidly gaining pace. She glanced back and saw he was only a meter or so behind her. Charlie gathered her reserves and ran harder, keeping the lighthouse in her line of vision as her trainers pressed down on the wooden boards. She continued to build up speed as she ran along the pier.

  “I thought you meant a friendly jog,” he said, overtaking her. He turned around and jogged backward, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

  As he slowed, she saw her opportunity and grabbed it, running faster and getting to the lighthouse a moment ahead of him, touching the white building and then bending to catch her breath.

  He caught up seconds later, Bagel panting by his side.

  “A friendly jog?” Charlie said, with a smile. “That just goes to show that you don’t know me very well at all.”

  Charlie sat back on the sofa in Euan’s lounge, sipping from a glass of fresh orange juice.

  “Do you fancy Eggs Florentine?” Euan asked. “I think we’ve earned it.”

  “Sounds delicious.”

  He got the ingredients out, and Charlie turned slightly in her seat so that she could still talk to him in the open-plan room.

  “Nice place you’ve got here.”

  “Thank you. I only moved in a couple of months ago, but it’s been great finally having my own space.”

  “After . . . ?”

  Euan smiled. “I’ve been flat-sharing with friends for the last few years. What’s with the question?”

  “No reason.” She shrugged.

  He worked away in the kitchen, and Charlie watched him. Being in his house felt surprisingly comfortable.

  “Here you go.” Euan brought over Charlie’s plate a few minutes later, and laid it on the table in front of her.

  She took a big bite of the muffin and egg. “Good hollandaise.”

  “Thanks. I try.”

  Bagel sat down next to Charlie, resting his head in her lap. “He’s after my breakfast.” She tapped him gently on the nose. “Not a chance, mate.” He whined and lay down.

  “He’s not that discerning when it comes to food.”

  “This would defini
tely be wasted on him, then. How’s his probation period going?”

  “I think we’re stuck with each other.” Euan grinned. “I’m getting used to having him around.”

  Charlie nodded, and stroked the dog. “Good. I’m pleased to hear that.”

  “It feels as though we came into each other’s life for a reason,” Euan said.

  Charlie looked up, startled by what he’d said. Had he really meant that? As their eyes met there was a spark of chemistry between them, diffused by his smile.

  “Me and Bagel,” Euan said, putting her straight.

  “Of course,” Charlie said, with a smile. “I knew that.”

  29

  Saturday, September 27

  Hi Charlie, Séraphine—have you got time for a tea? Something’s happened. I need to talk.

  Kat x

  Kat walked toward the Seafront Tearoom, hoping that this early in the morning the place would still be quiet. The rush of waves on sand seemed louder today, abrasive even, and the wind whipped at her face. After Jake’s phone call on Thursday night, she’d barely slept, restlessly playing their conversation over and over again in her mind as she lay in bed. The previous day she’d tried to distract herself, focusing on research and trying not to think the worst, but now all she could think about was going up to Scotland and getting Leo back.

  Letty opened the door to her, tidying her loose gray hair with a Kirby clip. “Kat—what’s wrong? Are you OK?”

  “I’ve been better.” She allowed Letty to usher her inside, but the usual calming effect when she walked through the door of the Seafront was absent today. The adrenaline was still coursing through her and leaving her unsettled.

  “Come and sit down,” Letty said, putting a reassuring hand on Kat’s arm. “Charlie and Séraphine are already here—they came as soon as they got your message.”

  She looked across to their usual table and saw the expressions of kindness on her friends’ faces.

  Letty poured Kat a cup of tea and handed it to her, but she shook her head and sat down.

  “What’s happened?” Charlie asked.

  “It’s Jake,” Kat said, her eyes welling up. “He wants Leo.”

  “What do you mean he wants him?” Charlie said.

  “He called me on Thursday, after I got back from dinner with you, Séraphine. He said he wants full custody. That Leo would be better off with him.” Kat’s voice cracked as she spoke. Saying it out loud made the threat seem so much more real.

  “That’s terrible,” Séraphine said, putting a hand on Kat’s arm. “I’m so sorry.”

  Letty was shaking her head. “That’s not right. Not right at all.”

  Charlie’s voice cut in, matter-of-fact. “It’s ridiculous, obviously. He’ll never get custody.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Kat asked her.

  “The courts would favor you as the mother,” Charlie said. “And on top of that Leo’s been happy here with you since he was born.”

  “Anyone who knows you would vouch for that,” Letty said, nodding vigorously.

  “Think about it, Kat: what case, if any, does Jake have for saying he’d be a better parent?” Charlie said.

  “You’ve got a point,” Kat said. “It’s not as if he’s seen Leo that often—his visits have always been fairly erratic.”

  “Plus didn’t you say he hasn’t even been supporting you lately?” Letty said.

  Kat nodded.

  “So there you are,” Charlie said, reassuringly. “That’s not going to help his case.”

  “But there are . . . things he could say,” Kat said. She felt raw even thinking of it—the things he might bring up. But she knew she couldn’t afford to ignore the possibility.

  “Like what?” Charlie asked.

  “After Leo was born, I was very down for a while. Letty, you remember,” Kat said, glancing over at her.

  “You struggled at first, as so many mothers struggle,” Letty said softly. “It’s not easy, especially at the beginning, and it seemed to me Jake wasn’t there for you as much as he could have been.”

  “I wasn’t clear in my mind,” Kat said. “I don’t know if I was depressed or what it was, but everything seemed so difficult.”

  It pained her to remember it. All she could think about now was how desperately she wanted to hold Leo again, to have him back with her. But there had been times in those early weeks and months when she’d felt as if part of her had disappeared. Days spent in the maternity ward, anonymous in her blue gown, a baby next to her who she’d thought would fill her heart with joy, and yet seemed at that point to be little more than a small, wrinkled, dependent stranger. Jake had been pacing the hospital corridor, texting on his phone. It seemed to Kat as if he was avoiding them.

  “At home, when Leo cried, I sometimes had to stop myself from walking out of the flat to escape it,” Kat said, recalling the sound and the way it had echoed off the walls and tugged at her very being. When Jake went out in the evenings, when the grizzling and crying was at its worst, she’d started to wonder if she’d made a terrible mistake. “I kept going, but some days it was all I could do to get out of bed. I tried to tell Jake how I was feeling, but that only seemed to make him withdraw even further. I had to talk to someone about it, so I came here to talk to Letty”—she glanced over at Letty, who nodded for her to continue—“and we went together to the GP. He prescribed me antidepressants. I don’t know if they helped or not. But in time me and Leo bonded, and things got easier. For Jake though, the pills were confirmation that something was wrong with me. I think that’s stayed in his mind.”

  “It sounds as though you had it very hard,” Charlie said. “It’s a tribute to you that you’ve come out the other side so strong.” She reached out to clasp Kat’s hand in her own. “Feeling down or being depressed—those aren’t failings. And you worked through it. In terms of Jake’s case, I can’t see that what happened back then would be of any relevance whatsoever.”

  “I’m not so sure. He’s brought it up in the past, when we’ve argued. He might find a way to use it.”

  Charlie shook her head. “I know I’ve never met the guy, but I have to say I’m not warming to this Jake. He should have been there for you—and instead he’s judged you for finding it hard?”

  Kat shrugged. “I didn’t question it at the time. I was too busy trying to focus on bringing Leo up as well as I could. Perhaps I should have got out sooner than I did.”

  “He shouldn’t be doing this to you,” Letty said, sitting down opposite Kat, a frown on her face. “I’m not sticking up for him, but I did think he was more sensible than this.”

  “Me too,” Kat said. “What gets me is that he says his parents are with him on it. He says his only concern is what’s best for Leo, and all three of them have noticed that Leo’s not happy, and that he’s said as much. If his parents feel the same way, perhaps there is something in it.”

  “If Leo’s upset, they should be talking to you constructively, not behaving like this,” Séraphine said. “It sounds as if they know you’re a good mother.”

  “You know what the worst part is?” Kat said, her voice cracking. “I’ve even started to doubt that myself.”

  “Don’t,” Séraphine said, putting her arm around Kat’s shoulder. “You mustn’t.”

  “I don’t understand,” Kat said. “Why is he doing this to us?”

  Later that day, Kat was on the station platform, her coat wrapped tightly around her. In her bag was Leo’s stegosaurus. She thought back to the day he’d left, how he’d wanted to take it to Scotland, but Kat had said no. She wished now that she could have that moment again.

  After leaving the tearoom, she’d gone home to collect a few things, then gone straight to Scarborough station. Charlie had advanced her some of the payment for the review work so that she was able to buy a return ticket.

 
Kat pictured the town house by the meadows where Leo would be staying with his grandparents. All she wanted was to be there and to hold her son in her arms again.

  The tone in Jake’s voice had sent a chill through her. Her mind had been racing ever since, picturing the various scenarios—a drawn-out court case, lawyers picking over her private life, legal bills to add to all the others that were piling up in her hallway. What did she know about the law? She’d have to learn quickly.

  And all the while a quiet fury burned beneath. To think that the man she’d once loved could do this to her.

  On the train, she put her book to one side and stared out of the window, watching the scenery go by in an effort to take her mind off the what-ifs. The carriage was quiet and empty and for once she wished it were fuller—anything to distract her.

  It had been good to talk to her friends, to get some perspective on the situation. To a point it had reassured her that Jake’s case for sole custody was weak. But still Kat felt vulnerable, and she knew she wouldn’t rest until she had Leo back at home.

  When she and Jake had broken up she’d made a promise to herself that she would build a safe haven for Leo. Now she was more determined than ever to keep to it.

  The meadows were scattered with fallen leaves, and as Kat walked through them, she remembered the walks she and Jake used to go on when they visited his parents. Back when she was at uni, it had seemed as if nothing could overcome or stand in the way of the love that they had for each other. But their tiny newborn had exposed the cracks in their relationship, and with each broken night those cracks had grown. It had been a slow, insidious thing. Jake hadn’t wanted to change his lifestyle, and had convinced her that they didn’t need to make compromises. She had been overwhelmed by her love for her son, torn by the need to keep Jake happy as well, and had ended up feeling she was spread too thinly.

  Nothing could bring back the days when they had been happy together, but she had truly believed they’d found a new balance, a way to be parents even though they were no longer lovers. Perhaps she’d been naïve to believe it was possible—that they could be friends after everything they’d been through.