The Seafront Tearoom Page 23
“How have things been since I left?”
“OK. Leo and I are getting on well, in our own little way—it’s brilliant having him back, and to have Dad home too.”
“Adam mentioned that he saw you the other day,” Séraphine said.
“Don’t start—”
“You see, you dish it out, but you can’t take it!” Charlie laughed.
“Ha, perhaps you’re right. It was nice to see him, actually. Really nice. I have a feeling we might be seeing a bit more of each other too.”
Charlie walked Séraphine and Kat back to the train station, the sun low in the winter sky. They were surrounded by people carrying bags of shopping, and commuters bustling past.
“What a wonderful day,” Séraphine said.
“It’s been fantastic,” Kat agreed. “Thanks, Charlie.”
“No—thank you,” Charlie said, touching both women gently on the arms. “You helped me out when I needed it most. I couldn’t have been there for Pippa if I hadn’t been lucky enough to have the two of you being there for me. It’s been brilliant getting to know you both. I feel blessed to have met such good friends.”
“Same here,” Séraphine said. “I was lost at first. I thought I’d made a huge mistake—but instead it’s turned out to be one of the best things I’ve ever done.”
“Aw, you two,” Kat said, bringing them into a hug. She pulled away and spoke despite the lump in her throat. “Where do I even start? I feel much stronger knowing that I have you both on my side.”
“We’ll always be there,” Séraphine said. “Even if we’re not living in the same place. Because I guess this is good-bye, Charlie. Well, let’s call it au revoir. I’m hoping you’ll come out to France. Both of you.”
“That’s very tempting,” Charlie said.
“You’ll always be welcome,” Séraphine said.
They hugged each other close.
45
Saturday, October 18
Séraphine climbed the stairs to her room. The house was quiet. Adam and Zoe must still be at the cinema. She and Kat had mostly dozed on the train journey home, both tired from the day, comfortable with the silence in each other’s company.
She took the items out of her handbag and laid them on her small desk:
A model of a red London bus
A tube map
Serviette and packet of sugar from Fortnum and Mason
A pink and yellow flowered vintage teacup, wrapped in white tissue paper
A worn paperback of 84 Charing Cross Road
A black-and-white postcard of the Beatles on the zebra crossing outside Abbey Road Studios
She turned the postcard over and wrote on the back:
Dear Carla,
A few souvenirs from London—one day let’s go back together?
Love, Séraphine x
Do you have to go?” Zoe asked at breakfast the next day.
“Can’t you stay longer, maybe until Christmas?”
Séraphine laughed. “I’d love to. But I think my family might have something to say about that.”
She looked over the kitchen table at Zoe and felt grateful that in the short time they’d known each other Zoe had come to trust her. In Zoe, Séraphine had seen true resilience, and the suffering the young girl had endured in her life had helped her to put own experiences in perspective. And then there was Adam. She thought of what Kat had said the day before. She really hoped that the two of them might get together.
“You’ll be missed,” Adam said. “It feels as though you’ve become part of our family.”
“It’s true,” Zoe said. “It’ll be strange without you.”
“You’ve been so kind to welcome me the way you have,” Séraphine said. “You’ve made me feel completely at home.”
“It’ll be boring when you’re gone,” Zoe said.
“I’m sure your dad will bring home some enormous dog or other soon,” Séraphine said. “Then you’ll forget all about me.”
“I won’t,” Zoe said. “For starters, dogs aren’t nearly as good at baking.”
“I hope you’ll keep up your French studies,” Séraphine said. “I left you those books, and I’ll be expecting full reviews. I’ll e-mail you in French too.”
“OK,” Zoe said, with a playful sigh. “I can’t believe you’re leaving the country and you’re still going to be bossing me about.”
Séraphine laughed. “I only bother bossing around my most able pupils,” she said.
“You must be looking forward to getting back to your own life,” Adam said. “I imagine there are a lot of people who will have missed you.”
“One or two,” she replied, with a smile.
Séraphine thought of Carla, and how soon their long wait would be rewarded. More than anything she wanted them to be together again.
Dear Carla,
I’ll be home a week on Friday. Maybe we could meet and talk on Saturday afternoon—shall I see you outside the bakery at two? I have been craving one of your blueberry brioches the whole time I’ve been here. Perhaps you could save some from the Saturday batch and we could have them with coffee in the square? I’ve missed you so much, and can’t wait to hear how you have been. I don’t know what’s next for us, all I know is that I have so much I want to say to you, and when I am by your side again, I know I will feel complete.
Sx
* * *
Dear Séraphine,
Of course I want to meet you. I’m so excited about you coming home that I’ve barely been able to think of anything else. Apart from making brioches for us. I don’t want us to hide who we are anymore, though. I don’t want to live a lie when we have nothing to be ashamed of.
Cx
* * *
Dear C,
You’re right. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about it while I’ve been away. When I get home I’m going to tell my parents about us, about you. And I’m going to tell them how happy I am.
Sx
46
Tuesday, October 28
Kat looked through the photos on her phone of the day she’d spent in London with Charlie and Séraphine. Raising cups of tea in a toast, the elegant high ceilings of the Fortnum and Mason tearoom in the background.
Ten days on, it seemed like a dream. She’d been in touch with Indulge about writing more for them, and Charlie had promised there would be work in the new year, but payments for her heating couldn’t wait until then. That morning she’d accepted a job at a call center on the outskirts of town—it would give her enough to cover the bills that were due.
“Mummy, I can’t sleep,” Leo said, standing in the living room doorway in his pajamas.
“It’s late, darling,” she said, walking over to him. “Back to bed.”
She led Leo quietly to his room and tucked him in under the covers. Then she gave him his stegosaurus to hold and kissed him on the cheek. “Go to sleep now.”
“I can’t. I’m not sleepy.” He looked up at her. “When will I see Daddy again?”
Kat took a deep breath. She’d known the question would come. “We’ll call him tomorrow and you can talk to him then.”
“OK,” Leo said, turning on his side and playing with the cuddly toy. “It’s not the same though, as seeing him.”
“I know.” She felt a stab of guilt. “We’ll work something out, I promise.”
He nodded and pulled his duvet up under his chin.
“Sleep tight, darling, sweet dreams.”
She went back into the living room and dialed Jake’s number on her mobile.
“Hi, Kat,” he said. “How are you?”
“All right. I got a job today.” She tried to sound excited, even though the prospect of starting work at the characterless concrete offices left her feeling numb with dread.
“Really? That’s good news.
”
“Thanks. I start on Monday. I got your payment this month, by the way.”
“Glad it came through. Listen, I know I’ve got some catching up to do. I’ll send the money when I can. Work’s coming in more regularly now.”
“I understand.”
“I’ve started the counseling,” he said. “And it’s going OK.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Kat said.
She wavered. She thought of how it had seemed, for a brief moment, as if she could have a life aside from all of this. Adam had called her to arrange to go out, but she kept putting him off. In her heart she knew what mattered most was getting Leo and his dad’s relationship back.
“Leo’s been asking about you,” she said at last.
“He has?” Jake’s voice lifted.
“I said we’d call you tomorrow, have a chat.”
“Sure.”
“But what he really wants is to see you. So I was wondering, would you like to come and visit us?”
“Are you serious? You wouldn’t have a problem with that?”
“It’s fine. But I’d want to be there. The whole time—and I’m not sure when that’ll change, when I’ll be happy to let go again. We’ll have to see how things go.”
“I know. I understand.”
“I don’t want to cut you out of his life, Jake. No matter what’s happened or what happens between us. You’re Leo’s dad, nothing can change that.”
“I won’t mess up again, Kat. I won’t hurt you. Either of you. Promise.”
47
Tuesday, October 28
Charlie turned off the taps and climbed into her bath. She let the warm water soothe her tired body. It was after midnight. She’d gotten home after a long evening in the office and had almost fallen asleep listening to music on the tube. As she sank down into the foam, a memory drifted into her mind. An early morning by the sea, the fresh air, the exhilaration of running. Of laughing.
Was any job worth missing out on life for?
Kat and Séraphine’s words echoed in her head, and what she had feared losing didn’t seem so important anymore. Maybe it was time to be open again, even if that meant the risk of falling flat on her face. Ben’s betrayal might have tripped her up, but what she did with that experience was in her hands. Her past was written in stone. But her future wasn’t. She was in charge of that.
The next day, Charlie called in sick.
It’s been a few weeks, I know. So I hope nothing’s changed . . . Charlie tapped out on her phone to Euan. Because I’m coming up to see you. Cx
It seemed as if she’d held her breath for a full half hour, until Euan’s reply came through. Nothing’s changed. I can’t wait to see you x
Hey,” Euan said, when she arrived on his doorstep later that same day. “You’re here.”
“I’m here.”
He closed the front door behind her and they stood for a moment in his hallway, close but not touching. “I missed you.”
“Me too,” Charlie said. A smile spread across her face. Euan’s expression mirrored hers and he put his arms around her, drawing her in toward him. He pulled back slightly, so that he could see her face. “It’s been quiet without you.”
He kissed her on the mouth, one hand tracing the sensitive nape of her neck. With the touch of his lips she felt grounded, more sure than she’d ever been that she was finally in the right place.
So what happened?” Euan asked, handing her a glass of wine. “When you didn’t reply to my e-mail I thought maybe I was making an idiot of myself.”
“You weren’t,” she said quickly. “You were braver than me, that’s all.” She took a sip of wine while she composed herself. She’d tried all the other ways out: the only one left was the truth. “Euan, you’re a nice guy . . .”
“Oh no, I’ve heard this one—” he said, shaking his head.
“I don’t mean nice nice . . . I mean gorgeous. Hot. A bit of everything I like.”
He smiled. “Better.”
“But I don’t find this easy. It wasn’t long ago I was planning to get married to someone else.”
“Really? God. Well, I’m glad you’re not still doing that.”
“So am I,” she said, “It would have been a huge mistake. But what I’m trying to say is that, while I thought I was over it, perhaps I’m not yet. I’m a little . . .”
“Emotionally backward?” Euan said.
“Not quite how I would have put it, but yes . . .”
“Well, you’re not the only one.”
“You seem so chilled out.”
“I’m not. I find it hard to trust, to commit, all of those things. I’m rubbish at relationships.”
“So, what . . . what are you saying?”
“When I met you I realized I wanted to change, to try and find a way to be better at this stuff. And it was so obvious I couldn’t ignore it. When you care about someone enough, your whole outlook on life gets turned upside down.”
“And now you want us to blunder together into the unknown, as clueless as each other?”
“That’s exactly what I want.” His eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled.
She reached across and touched his cheek, ran her hand over his stubble. He tilted his jaw toward her hand and kissed it gently. She moved closer and kissed him on the mouth.
“OK,” she said, pulling back. “We can do that.”
He stroked her hair and brought her close to him, kissing her again.
“Stay with me here tonight?” he said.
You’re back!” Flo said, clambering onto Charlie’s lap the next day. She put her arms around her aunt’s neck and nuzzled her head into the crook of her neck.
“I missed you too, sweetie,” Charlie said. “It’s good to see you all again.”
Charlie looked across the room to where Pippa was sitting on the playmat with Gracie and Jacob, who was dangling a toy over his baby sister’s face.
“Mum told me you’ve landed a brilliant promotion,” Flo said. “She’s so proud of you.”
Charlie’s eyes met Pippa’s. “That’s nice of her. Yes, I’m very excited about it.”
“We’ve got something new too,” Flo said. “Shall I show you?”
“Don’t say it,” Pippa said. “I know I must be mad.”
Intrigued, Charlie followed Flo, who pulled her by the hand into the kitchen.
In the corner of the kitchen, prowling by the door, was a scruffy black cat with hair sticking up and a chunk missing from his right ear. Venus, the Prussian blue, was cowering in her plush cat basket.
“His name is Roger,” Flo announced proudly. “Roger the Punk Cat.”
Luke came into the kitchen dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. “It’s all Adam’s fault,” he said, smiling. “Last thing we need, as you can see—the other cat’s petrified.”
“You love him really,” Pippa said, snaking an arm around her husband’s waist. “I caught him chatting to Roger the other night.”
“This is what working less has driven me to,” Luke said. “Instead of yakking in a boardroom all hours, I’m in here talking to an ex–street cat.”
“I’ve made the bed up for you in the spare room.” Pippa turned back to her sister. “Do you want a hand taking your things up? Is your bag still in the car?”
“No, thanks. It’s fine. I’m staying somewhere else tonight.”
Pippa raised an eyebrow.
“OK, OK. Put the kettle on and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Here you go,” Euan said, passing Charlie a cup of tea in bed.
“Thanks.” She pulled the duvet up around her and kissed him. His lips were warm and soft. She felt content and secure there—as if the two of them existed in a bubble where nothing could touch them.
“Are you sure you have to go to work today?�
�
“Afraid so,” he said, sitting down next to her on the bed. “As much as I’d love to stay in bed with you all day, I have a feeling the buyers won’t accept that as a reason for not meeting their deadline.”
“Good luck,” she said, running a hand over his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin. “Do you think you’ll have time for lunch?”
“Of course. I’ll call you. What are you going to do today?”
“I have a few things to return to your mum at the tearoom, then I’ll give Kat a ring and see what she’s up to.”
“Cool. I’m sure you guys will have a lot to catch up on.”
“I hope you’re not suggesting we’ll be gossiping.”
“Never. Listen, I’d better run.” He kissed her and stroked her hair gently. “See you later.”
Charlie showered and dressed, then got the folders Letty had given her out of her bag to make sure she had everything.
The past two nights with Euan had left her feeling calm, complete. Even the dozen missed calls on her mobile from work couldn’t take that away. Charlie had no idea how she was going to explain her three days off when she got back. With Euan she didn’t have to try and be anyone else but herself. It had been natural and easy. She felt at home in his flat, as if waking up in his bed was where she was always meant to be.
Bagel barged into the room and bounded up to her, jumping and licking her face. He knocked the stack of folders off the bedside table, and a card fell out of one of them onto her carpet. Thank You—the words were in silver script, and there was an image of a bouquet of flowers on the front. She opened it and saw a handwritten note.
“Shh, Bagel, sit,” she said, pushing him down and away from her.
She read the note.
August 1988
Dear Leticia,